The Things We Did Right

Cultivating love between to people takes work. It’s choosing that person every single day, again and again. Even when tempers flare and life becomes over involved. Even when they misbehave and need help. You can become a better couple today.

Today is my anniversary, and we love to make it feel special. Last year, my wonderful husband worked extra hard and finally took me on my honeymoon. We went to Hawaii. Although we aren’t going to any place extravagant this year, we will celebrate us for sure.

I always feel sentimental in our milestones and victories. After all, we could have been a statistic but choose to deny the odds.

He and I had our hard times. If I really try we can remember the ugliness of our past. Where we came from, the stuff that creeps in, and everything in between. We aren’t perfect and still have things we need to work out, and do not always communicate in the best manner when things get heated, but over the years we know we have done some things right.

We were young when we married. That defies odds. We felt that even when our families did not approve of our union, we had each other. We decided to never allow the “D” word in our vocabulary with each other because we are better together than apart. We have a staying factor. Everything is trivial compared to what God has for us to do. We are not going to let the enemy destroy what God has put together.

We do not stay mad long. If we get upset with each other and even if it takes a few days. We will make up because we love our connection. We value our friendship and oneness, we know that we not only choose each other, but we complete each other. (I have to admit, my husband is a better forgiver than me.) So I am thankful for grace.

We have fun together. We had to really learn this. My idea of fun may be a shopping trip and his idea of fun is a thrill seeking adventure. So we often have to compromise or find things we can do together. I love that about us. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it does not. But at least we tried.

We reminisce a lot. Not about the bad things. That is always easy to do. We laugh about our innocence of not knowing. Our adventure in life together and we often know what worked and what did not.

But we talk about falling in love with each other and the fun we had.

It’s the encounters that made our life worth every risk. Sometimes it worked out and other times we chalk it up to stupidity.

We choose to remember the good and because of this, we have a great relationship.

We are on the same team. There is no one I would rather pick than him. We laugh together. We serve each other. We remember that every disagreement is not worth lost connection (even if it took longer to realize that.) We are better together than we are apart.

If you are in a relationship, you can cultivate love everyday for your spouse. Stop looking at their flaws. Tell them you believe in them. Tell them that whatever their going through, you can do it together. It is not your job to fix your spouse! You can only work on you. Grow you and love your spouse. Remind yourself of who they really are. Kiss your spouse. Invest in your marriage. It’s worth it and its needed. Learn how to communicate better. Learn to forgive. Everyday will give you a reason not to connect, but be intentional about connection with them.

I know every day may be a struggle. I know that each relationship is different. But I also know that any situation can be worked out. There is always hope. We have to be willing to do the work.

So from James and I… Have a prosperous marriage!