Over the history of my life, I have had friends come and go in my life. I hate when friends drift apart or that we move on. It’s painful for me to leave others behind, but as I grow in who I am, I know that friends are part of my journey.
I can think back to when I was younger and loved being with community. I loved my friends and I love doing life together. I however, moved around a lot. And as much as I wanted to stay friends, distance and time set in and we began to drift apart. You know the old saying, “Out of sight and out of mind.
I don’t think my friends and I meant to drift away and at least on my part there is no ill will, but at times when I look back, sometimes it was for the best.
The bible says that, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17. I have to say, its true. Not having a strong relationship with my siblings, I always look that my friends like family. I look for people who don’t just wait for me to start the conversation or the friendship, but actually want to do life with me. They are the ones I stick close to. They are the ones that I know, the feeling is mutual.
I heard a very good lesson on friendship from Mel Robbins, the author and speaker. She said, “There are friends for a season, friends for a reason, and then there are friends for life.”
I agree with Mrs. Robbins. These are the types of friendship we tend to carry in our lives.
Friends for a season. I have had friends who were only in my life a short period of time. Although I loved them dearly, they only stayed, or I stayed for a season. I don’t really know how it started or where it ended, that is not the point. The point is good or bad, they still had a purpose in my life. I am still grateful for the part they played in my life.
The friends for a reason are those who serve a purpose, work colleagues, church friends, or fellow tee ball moms. Yes, they serve a reason to help us on our journey and vice versa. It’s not a bad thing, because we all need help. It takes a village as you know. We give and we take. These functional friendship serves with purpose. They nice thing about these friendships is they have the ability to grow. They start as a reason but end up being friends for life.
Friends for life. Yeah, these are the friends who really know you. Who know and probably walked though all your ugly, snot, crying self over life and everything in-between. Those who know your flaws and continue to love and support you anyway. I can’t help but to think of all my lifer friends who have been a rock to me these past few years. Even when we live in different towns or states, we make our friendship work. I feel that these ladies and I have pulled the test of time and we have found a way to stay connected.
I value my friendships. I love making new friends. Proverbs says, “A friend must show himself friendly.” (Proverbs 18:24) That means some of us who desire friendship must extend the hand of friendship first. Yes, be bold in making your friends. Be the one who sometimes steps out there to cultivate friendships. As a young girl, I moved around quite a bit, so I got really good and making friends with any and everyone. If I wanted friends, I had to be willing to step out and make them. To you, who want friendship. Be the brave one that steps out and cultivates new friendships.
I do have to say to choose your friendship wisely. We often tell our kids that, but it goes for us adults as well. Often times we find ourselves in relationships that are not building us up or have alternative motives. It’s easy to stay in those relationships because of convenience or feeling responsible. The truth an unhealthy friendship will probably remain unhealthy. I hate leaving people behind, but I sometimes I have needed to make choices because it was unhealthy for both of us.
Friendship is a big part of life. Community helps shape who we are and helps us thrive in areas that we need encouragement and support. My heart breaks when I think about some of the good friends I have lost over the years, but they added value to my life and sometimes taught me valuable lessons. But to the ones who stick. The ones who stayed. I love you more than you will ever know. You are the true gems in my life.
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